Sunday, November 3, 2013

Finding Love while in Prison?

A lot of people wonder what it is that guys have in mind when they respond to a communication invite from a woman- or what they are looking for placing personal ads from behind bars. There is no doubt that the majority turn the desire for some outside attention and a little loving company into the drive for money. Everyone in here needs some money because shit is expensive and their are few joys to be experienced in the first place- and that becomes the focus for most people after a few weeks or months of communication.

But this is the perception- or the perceived excuse for that: The inmate is providing a loving relationship, or the image of one.....the fantasy of a connection that will last- albeit with none of the complications and fighting and worries and commitments and downfalls (physical and emotional)- while all the woman needs to do is help her dude make it to commissary from time to time.

The woman obviously struggles to find a real dude out there who is willing to be who she needs them to be in the "ideal" form, so she's turned to an image or shadow of the man by choosing someone who cannot ever satisfy anything for physically- only provide the emotional and psychological love and support that are so hard to find out there.....who is the fucked up one? Either of them?

I don't think that either of them are fucked up, necessarily. One is lonely and extremely restricted; the other is lonely and hoping to find emotional support and the idea of love without really putting themselves "out there" for it.

Both can find a form of the love they seek and watch it grow into something deep and real. I think that finding a woman and showing her love and relying on her support and watching her grow and feeling the positive changes that she brings to my life are all positives. It has made this time more interesting and provided opportunities to grow in my mind and heart where I couldn't have otherwise. And I think that she would agree.

When a woman stands beside her man in his darkest hours- when she makes the sacrifices that no one else is willing to make for him- then it is only right to expect that he will bring her along with the high points in his life upon his release. Any other consideration is a complete denial of karma, reaping what we sow, etc.... and that messes with the whole universal law thing. I think every man, somewhere in his heart, believes that he owes the woman who stands beside him from out there. And he must be a cold, calculating, and ugly person to continue a charade he feels nothing about. And it will all come back to him in the end. Believe that.

Beau Hansen

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