Sunday, November 10, 2013

The Story of the Six-Man cell- White Knight, Plastic Parrots( Finale)

By the time the Plastic Parrots joke wrapped up and the Stuttering Cowboy came on the scene, even Elkins couldn't resist to "join'em" in the laughter- a frustrated, almost tearful capitulation around 2:30 in the morning. He had already gone through the violent turning and exaggerated flopping phase that screamed everything he was unwilling to actually voice. It was evident that these endless jokes were indeed meant to try him and let him know that if he wanted to flex even an inch, he would be visiting the infirmary long before he made it to the SHU for lock up. It became and hours-long fever for Elkins, and when he was nearest to succumbing to the heat-to snapping and going right over the edge- the fever broke and he laughed. The effort of that laugh cost his ego something and he tried to regain it with a lame , " stupid motherfu**ers," but there was no heart in it. By consensus, we all saw that he was broken, and in my mind i felt the night was a success. In the end we all laughed-as much at Chunk's aggressive, "in your face Elkins" giggling at the stupid, never ending joke.

The remaining worry in my mind was that Elkins would find a way to climb out of bed early in the morning, after so little sleep, and still apply the passive-aggressive armbar of ritual oblations while we tried to sleep an extra 30 minutes. And when his alarm went off at 5:00, i believe that he was earnestly, admirably surprised to find Beau sprawled in the middle of the floor doing yoga. He stared at Beau for a quiet minute before sighing a long, " Jesus Christ....."

Shane-O turned over and peeled the wool cap up from his eyes. His soft laughter was a mixture of such glee and surprise and....understanding that I knew I would never meet guys like this again.

In the end Elkins moved into another cell and i found that his bottom bunk fit me very well, very comfortably, and I slept like a baby every night there after.

Beau Hansen


  1. Fantastic writing and good stories. Keep it up!

    1. Thank you! Beau really appreciates you guys reading his blog.